Is It Really Worth It.......

Sometimes I ask myself all the things that I do "is it really worth it", "does this really matter", "if I didn't do this or that would it really matter".  I agree that not all the time I am the best mom, wife, sister, aunt, daughter, or friend.  I am human and I screw up and stretch myself to thin.  I don't mean to, but I want to do everything and help someone who needs it out.  I just wonder in the long run does it really matter or am I just gearing myself up to be a bitter person?  I do like helping people out, but not at the expense of getting bitched at for something that in my eyes really didn't matter.  I won't get into details, not the place to be ousting people.  I just really feel that yea I could have thought better, but I fucked up.  No one got hurt (physically or emotionally).  I do tons of running around for my kids.  Some days with all the running around and lack of sleep I just make minor judgment calls.  I am just really torn up about it.  I am to the point where for the first time my youngest slept through the night, but I was up all night beating myself up over it.  So in turn I am short tempered and still kicking myself in the ass over it.  Pretty soon soccer starts and I will be stretched thinner.  Not only did I sign up 3 kids, but I signed up to be a coach.  Why do I do this shit to myself?  Some days I wanna cry and some I just wanna scream.  I wonder what it's like just to be content!